A serious post.

I want to take some time to discuss Post-partum Depression.....because I haz it. Well at any rate I am dealing with it, with medication and a very attentive and observant husband who watches my mood closely. I must say that I am doing much better than I was a week or two ago.

Backstory: Shortly after Josh was born I developed an infection in my incision. I began treatment twice a day with home nursing, and visits to my doctors at least once a week. Unfortunately the infection is taking a while to clear up, and while I am now using a V.A.C. (Vacuum assisted closure- a machine using negative pressure to clean and stimulate growth in my wound) the whole experience has been overwhelming.

No one expects that things are going to be so difficult, and while my depression is less depressed and sad feelings and more stress and anxiety about my performance as a mother, it is nonetheless scary and frustrating. I want to post this because everyone, including myself, says oh I will never have PPD. I honestly never thought that I would be the one to have to deal with all this. And I know I have done nothing wrong...I am doing my utmost to take care of my child and myself.

Please, please, if you are a new mom and you have overwhelming feelings of any kind....talk to your doctor. No one should have to feel as if there is not help.

Someone I want you to meet!

Here he is!!! Joshua Curtis Jr. arrived via c-section on June 12,2009 (my original due date). He weighed 8lbs 11oz and I would do everything over again in a heartbeat to have him. I am one-handed typing so this will be short...but I promise to do another update soon!

40+ weeks, maybe a picture later.

Ok little monkey, we are really really excited for you to come, (Even though I am scared out of my mind for labor and delivery) so you can make your hasty escape at any time now. We even have a hat for you to wear when the redwings win the Stanley Cup on Thursday. So bring it on little one.....the eviction is friday by force, but we would LOVE to see you early. Really really love it. Like a way lot.
Anyway, not much going on, I am just waiting. Perhaps if I can swing it I will get a picture up. My last few appointments have been painful and disappointing, very little progress, and a decision to start inducing on Thursday if I do not go into labor before then. I was really hoping to deliver on Thursday but it probably will not happen. Josh's birthday is Thursday and he would absolutely love to have his son in his arms that day, but we will see. It would get me out of buying him a birthday gift too. LMAO.
I will probably not post much until after he is here, but I promise to post a pic and story when I get the chance!

39 weeks, probably not posting a picture...haha

I am tired, sore, and ready to have this baby. We are trying everything....I really wanted my doc to be there, but we have had no progress this week either. I go back tomorrow for another NST, BPP, and she will probably check me one last time, but then thats it. After that I will probably just wait him out....haha. Today would be the perfect day....It is Josh's birth month, my birth day (April 3) and when you add them together it equals the year. I think this was my day I really wanted. Who knows what will happen, but I am not going to be too sad if he doesn't make his appearance quite yet. I get to go baby clothes shopping tomorrow if I am not in labor by then....this makes a world of difference to my attitude...haha
Anyway, I am just (not really) patiently waiting for Joshua Jr. to decide he is ready to be an outside baby. I tell him every day to hurry it along, cause lots of people are waiting to meet him.

We got our Pack & Play.

So I had my heart set on the pack & play that matched the travel system that we received (it was awesome I will have to say) but just a little too expensive...even with our discount coupons and rewards checks and whatnot. Sooo I started looking at other ones. I had picked out one that I could deal with, had almost all the features I wanted and was a heck of a lot cheaper. I finally get Josh on board to get one, we go to Babies R Us and look at it, and of course he starts wandering around looking at the one next to the p&p we were looking at. OMG it was perfect. Slightly more expensive than the one I picked out, but it has a music and vibration thing with MP3 hook up, you can record a ten second snippet of your voice to the thing and it has multiple music options for pre set sounds....sleepy music, playing music, and nature sounds. It also has a canopy with a mobile, a changing table and an organizer to hold diapers and wipes and what not. The techie in Josh sold him on this new pack& play the minute he started pushing the buttons, and I was sold when I noticed that the mobile had monkeys on it, and was green, brown and white.....the colors we did the nursery in.
Unfortunately as we started looking around for the box, to take one home.....they were sold out. I asked someone if they had any more and she told me that they did not, and would not have them for a while but I could be put on the request list, and if they received any in shipment they would call me. Or I could try online...(Of which you cannot find this collection of baby gear yet). So I put my name on the list...but being impatient and hopefully not pregnant for very much longer, I did not want to wait...haha. I decided to call Babies R Us in Ann Arbor. They had 6 in stock, and so yesterday I asked them to hold one for Josh, and he ran over there after work and bought it. He came home and we had a hell of a time getting it put together, but managed finally (with only one outburst from Josh that had me nearly in tears) and I took some pictures for you all to see.



























So one other really cute thing is going on today...right as I am typing this blog. Josh is currently attending Daddy Boot Camp at the hospital right now. I really have no idea what he is doing but I do hope it involves teaching him how to change a diaper, and how to swaddle...haha. Though I do think the only reason he actually went was the promise of free swag. Namely a backpack, a can koozie, and "other miscellaneous gifts". I mean really who can go wrong with a class that offers that kind of incentive to attend??? Its like actually getting punch and pie when it is promised to you. LOL. So we shall see what he thinks of the boot camp and I will get back to you on what he learns.

One more thing about being pregnant...

Just FYI, do not stand too close to your ever loving stove while making Ramen. If you are showing, you will invariably burn your tummy at some point on the stove. Just keep this in mind. I wish I had been warned.

I have three very lovely red burn marks on my tummy from the stove....kick ass.

Ug...yesterday.

Well after I failed my BPP (J2 just did NOT want to move around at all) they hook me up to the NST, and by the skin of my teeth get three accellerations during the last few minutes of the test. I just barely passed that part. So I am on edge a little bit, but really wondering whats going on, and if I am making progress. After waiting forever for the doctor to come in she checks me (OMFG, that was so not cool) she tells me I am maybe a fingertip but that my cervix is way curled up behind my pubic bone....so as of this point, little progress is made.

They did do a growth U/S and he is estimated at 7lbs 15 oz, but who really knows. That is the 77%ile though. I just wish I had more progress...I am getting tired of being pregnant...LOL

Oh, then, they figure out I have no more appointments scheduled, and they should have done this weeks ago. There was no way in knowing when I will go into labor, they should have been scheduled and then cancelled if I didnt need to go in. So I have Mondays appointment scheduled, but Thursday I will probably end up sitting around all morning waiting to be fit in for the ultrasound part of my NST. They are booked solid all morning. I told them do not be surprised if I order in pizza for myself..haha

It has been quite a morning, so to calm me down, DH, MIL and I went for some retail therapy. I helped MIL pick out a baby shower gift, and we bought a couple small odds and ends for the baby...some of those clingy window shade things for the car, some hooks for the back of the stroller, and some batteries for the bouncer and travel swing.