Thursday, August 28, 2008

So little to talk about.

My life has been pretty standard these past few days and I really have had nothing of note to talk about. My chart finally has come to the conclusion that I ovulated on CD21. Much to my relief. It makes more sense and I am happy that I am finally in the real TWW (two week wait).
We are spending the next few weeks dog sitting for various people...and it is awesomely wonderful. My sister and her husband are going away for their 1 year anniversary next week and we are going to stay with the dogs and take care of them. It is like 25 minutes away from Ann Arbor, and J. will get to see just how lovely it is to not have to get up at the asscrack of dawn to get ready for work. Then after they get home we have to leave immediately to come home and watch the dog, because MIL and FIL are leaving to go to Virginia. This will be the first time in a very long time that both of them are going to visit SIL, and I couldn't be happier. It is such a freeing experience to be able to live by yourself and do the things that you want to do, without having to consult or include anyone else on the plans. I relish these times and look forward to the day when J. and I have an honest to goodness place of our own.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Are you kidding me??

No crosshairs yet? I am on CD 20, and after my charting software gave me CH on CD 10 (yes 10), they promptly took them away, and now I don't know what to think. No one ever tells you that sometimes making a baby can be difficult and frustrating. I know, I know, its only been a few months, I can speak for myself when I say I am impatient...
I am having a rough week....we came back from our vacation, and walk right into the same crap as we usually do. MIL bitches about money we owe her for car insurance, and quickly forgets that they owe us from several months ago when my husband paid for two weeks of rental car service so she could go to Virginia. She doesn't seem to understand that they have to pay us back for that, or eat the cost of car insurance for a few months to make up for it. FIL just barely shows his face day to day, and generally stays out of conversation.
On the positive side, J. and I have started talking about other options to moving to Ann Arbor....I am still worried that he will have a problem on the drive home, and I would have no way to get to him, but those are all things we are trying to work out.
I should really blog more, but I don't like to sound as if I am always bitching. I am happy, but I want to be happier.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Just a lil shout out!

LOL. A bunch of ladies from the local nest board met together on Friday night and we had a blast! Well I had a blast, I guess I really cannot speak for anyone else. It was so much fun to get away for a bit, not to have to eat dinner with my in-laws, and to gossip and talk about stuff IRL (for those of you who don't know the lingo IRL=In Real Life). I had not met a few of the ladies and I wish I had had a better chance to talk to them. But maybe next time. I really hope that I didn't make a fool of myself and that they don't think I am a loser or something...cause sometimes I feel like they are the only people that really understand my frustrations. Anyway, ladies it was fun, and we should do it again soon!!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

I went to church the other night.

I have never been the kind of person who goes to church every sunday, nor have I ever found what I was looking for religiously in a mainstream church environment. Since a child I have been most comfortable at my mothers church, a spiritualist church. Open to anyone and everyone, it is a place where you must come with an open mind and heart.
Anyway, I went to church on thursday night, I usually go when I am feeling the most unsure about my current situation, knowing that I will find the answer I am looking for. Not always the answer I am hoping for but an answer none the less. Well I found my answers...not the happy pleasant answers, but I came to the realization that I am truly not happy. I really have to push myself to find who I am, or more precisely who I was. Before the marriage, the wedding, before I met my husband, I had a perfect vision of what my life was to be like. I had overcome the sadness and dismay of losing my father, the one person who truly believed in my talent and pushed me to pursue my music. I have lost that, and I need to get it back. I have a lot of work to do to get back there, but I believe that it can be done.
On another note, I am back at CD2, and last month however beautiful my chart was, we did not have success making a baby. I will not deny that I was dissappointed, but there are always lessons to be learned from everything. I have learned that my body is really responding to the weightloss and exercise. My body is working properly, and I am ovulating. I will get my BFP.